Should I Divorce?

When your spouse has wounded you through abuse of any form, divorce seems the obvious answer. You may feel your home has been destroyed by this abuse, but God can restore all things. I wrestled with the option of divorce for two years. I prayed and sought God’s guidance before I came to a final decision.

Do your best to avoid making a decision about divorce while you are still in the heat of your anger or depths of your hurt. Wait until you can think it through rationally, unaffected by emotion. A separation is sensible for your and your children’s protection. During your time of separation allow God to be your husband. “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name” (Isaiah 54:5, NKJV). Give yourself time to heal before adding the difficulties of divorce into the mix.

Think it through:
• Has your spouse truly repented of the abuse?
• Is your spouse getting therapy?
• If your spouse has sexually abused your child, is he or she willing to do whatever is necessary to help your child heal?
• Is your spouse willing to do everything needed to restore the marriage and the family?

When you are past your anger:
• Make a list of the positive and negative aspects of your marital relationship. Be honest with yourself. Seeing the positive and negative side by side, along with the answers to the above questions, will help you make a more informed, calm decision about divorce.

Debra L. Butterfield © 2010 Drawing by Dot Charest © 2009

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