Gentle Anger?
By Jenni Saake © 2011
I recently blew it, BIG TIME! I had been wronged so I got angry. I used my hurt as justification to completely loose my temper. The brutal bite of my unbridled words deeply injured someone I love. I could give a ton of excuses about what went wrong – hormones, stress, worry, pride – but the bottom line is, I forgot the importance of gentle grace.
Gentleness, sometimes translated “mildness” or “meekness,” seems to scream just the opposite of independence and strength that culture tells me I need to strive for. While some might agree with my “right to be right” that led me to the moment of explosion, I believe it was the ugly lashing of my tongue that actually displayed my greatest weakness. A gentler answer would not have been a sign of lack, but rather a mark of controlled strength, of wisdom, of freedom from being a slave to my own emotions.
Did I get anywhere with my harsh words and dominating attitude that day? Not really, unless you call a month of hurt feelings on both sides anything to be proud of. Although my loved one tried to defuse my outburst calmly, we eventually both were spewing emotional blows that sent us each reeling. If only I would have stopped in the midst of the drama (or at the start of it!) and asked God to take over the reins, so much pain could have been prevented. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1, NIV).
How can I be sure that gentleness isn't making me weak?
