Choices
by Debra L. Butterfield ©
2011
Jacob stood stunned as he stared at the blood-stained
coat his sons placed in his hands. He pulled open the folds of cloth now crusty
with blood, and his heart sank.
“Do you recognize
it, Father? Is it Joseph’s?”
“Yes. There’s no
mistaking it.” Jacob faltered back and fell to his knees. “Oh, Joseph, oh
Joseph, my beloved son. What has killed you?” He buried his face in the coat he
had given Joseph and sobbed. Jacob mourned for many days and though his family
tried to comfort him, he refused to be comforted.
I understand the agony
that life so often brings. The above story of Jacob and Joseph comes from the
Bible in Genesis 37. My heartache began one hot August night many years
ago.
“Why did you bring
your daughter to the ER?” the nurse asked me.
“We were in the
middle of an argument when she put a knife to her chest and threatened to kill
herself.”
“Has this happened
before?”
“No.”
The nurse escorted
us to an examination room. Once there a doctor queried my twelve-year-old daughter
with one probing question after another. I remember only one, and my daughter’s
unemotional response: “Has anyone ever sexually abused you?” “Yes, my
step-dad.”
The emergency room doctor sent us to a local
psychiatric hospital, admission papers in hand. It was nearly midnight by now,
and Jenny faced the same grueling interrogation at the psychiatric hospital.
She appeared numb. I was in shock. I tried to listen, yet found myself severed
from the painful questioning as if in the midst of an out-of-body experience.
“How could this be happening?” resounded unendingly in my mind as I said goodnight to Jenny.
I cried the whole way home.
When crisis bursts in on us, our first reaction is
often shock, just as the body goes into shock after suffering traumatic
physical harm such as in a car accident. This is natural and normal— the events
we’re experiencing are too traumatic for our mind to deal with at that moment.
As we face life’s difficulties, we have a choice. Like Jacob, we can
refuse to be comforted, or we can follow the example King David gave us. David
was still a young man shepherding his father’s sheep when Samuel anointed him
king of Israel
Like my children climbed into my lap for comfort when
they were hurt, for three years I approached God as a little child. I mentally climbed
into my Father’s lap time after time as one crisis after another confronted me.
I asked for strength. I asked for guidance. And I asked him to mend my broken
heart. I knew he would listen and not condemn, comfort rather than reprimand,
and provide the emotional healing I needed. Over and over again he did. Today
my daughter is one year away from obtaining a bachelor’s degree in psychology.
And our relationship that I thought was destroyed forever, God has healed.
Has tragedy pierced your heart to a depth you never
knew existed? Have you cried so much you feel you have no tears left? I want
you to know you are not alone. I’ve been there. Shock is a normal reaction.
What is important is that you move beyond shock and into the process of
managing the crisis.
“The LORD is near to those who
have a broken heart” (Psalm 34:18a), and he catches your every tear (Psalm
56:8b). That is love in action! All may seem dark right now, but day by day
things will get brighter, and the sun will shine again. You can and will get
through this. God understands your pain. He invites you to seek refuge in Him. Climb
into the Father’s lap and tell him where it hurts. He loves you and cares for
you. He will bring a soothing balm to your broken heart.
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